I know I haven't said much lately. I should, but time's just gotten away from me. It's hard to believe it's almost 2013. This month has been busy and full of distraction, but when things slow down each day, I still cry for my daughter.
A few weeks ago, James and I took a mini-vacation to Branson, MO. Some friends of mine all got together and got us a stay at a nice hotel, and some spending money. It was really nice. We got to go see a show, visit the Ripley's museum, and just spend time together without chasing a toddler. My parents watched Brooklyn for us, and she did great.
I donated some more breastmilk, this time to somebody who was coming to a nearby city for Christmas and couldn't bring milk with her on the plane. I gave her a little over 250 ounces, and it was enough for her entire trip and car ride home! It feels so amazing that because of Eden, this little boy was able to keep drinking breastmilk during a time when it's probably very needed with the traveling and weather changes. It was an awesome experience, and I already have enough milk stored back up in my freezer to make another significant donation - it's just a matter of finding the right person.
I have searched the HM4HB (Human Milk 4 Human Babies) and Eats on Feets pages since my last donation, but haven't found anyone nearby that has really suck out to me like this last person did. I know the right person will come along though, and it'll be great giving my milk to them. I'm currently pumping between 25 and 35 ounces of milk each day (in addition to nursing Brooklyn), so it's not taking long to build up a good supply.
I've gotten the breastmilk pendant that I wrote about in an earlier post. It's really beautiful and perfect. It's light pink, with a heart made from my milk and it says, "Eden" on it. I don't know how Holly does it, but these things are truly amazing. I strongly urge you to look at her online store and check out her stuff, because all of it is beautiful, and she does a really great job on each piece. She does other types of pendants and jewelery too.
It's really hard to believe tomorrow Eden would have been 5 weeks old...it almost isn't fair how life just continues to go on around us...but it does... I've put a lot of time recently into researching different aspects of my health these past few days - I've decided that I'm finally going gluten-free. I've suspected a gluten sensitivity for a while...I've had a lot of the symptoms of it for a very long time, and since doing more research on modern wheat in general, I couldn't continue to just ignore the fact that I shouldn't be eating it, regardless of how much I don't want to give it up. Rather than only me going gluten-free, we are becoming a gluten-free household, because I believe it is healthier for all of us (and it's likely Brooklyn shares my sensitivities to it anyway). James is is sad we won't be eating at Chinese buffets anymore (which make me sick every. single. time. without fail anyway), but we are both looking forward to trying new recipes and excited to jump into this new lifestyle. There are so many gluten free recipes out there, that I know we aren't going to be deprived of anything we really want to eat, because we can just make an alternative. Brooklyn will grow up not knowing the difference, though I will have to be diligent around friends and family to keep her on a gluten-free diet.
I will be strive to give updates, and I plan on posting more about the MTHFR gene when I get a chance to sit down with the research again, so pop in every now and again to look for new posts. Thank you all for your support through all of this, and for your prayers.
I have been thinking about you! and I wanted to write earlier, but for some reason I lost my way to this blog. I am glad to have found it again. It sounds like you had a lovely memorial for her, and I wanted to tell you that I am glad you were able to see her earthside...although I am sorry it was so brief. You have turned an impossibly difficult situation into a beautiful testament about God's Love and a mother's love. You fought to give her as much love and as much life as she could have. Now, even though she is sleeping, her life and your love is still working acts of love from her life...through donated milk, through your writing, and I bet other ways that I cannot see. You will give hope and strength to other families facing anencephaly or other issues. You make me braver in facing my little trials that seem so small by comparison. I will never forget Eden, you, or your family!! I will keep reading this blog as long as you feel like writing it, and when it is finished, God will will continue to find ways to bring good, hope, and love through you and through Eden. I believe you have a powerful saint in heaven praying and pulling for your whole family.
ReplyDeleteI am not comparing our experiences, they are not comparable, but I have some little saints in heaven too.