Merry Christmas, Eden

I can't believe it's Christmas Eve again already. The year has absolutely flown by, and while I'm excited for tomorrow morning when Brooklyn comes down our stairs to open Christmas gifts, and excited to head over to my parents' house to spend time with family, I miss Eden in a special way tonight. It's kind of crazy to think she would have been over a year old for this Christmas, and she would have absolutely loved to play with all the wrapping paper and be surrounded by family. I know she's in Heaven right now, rejoicing for the one Gift that truly matters in this world, but that still doesn't make me wish any less that she were here to celebrate Christmas with her family.

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day and October Update

Today is October 15th, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Eden's been on my mind a lot lately anyway, because of my current pregnancy, but we are getting closer to her first birthday, and so I've been thinking about her more and more. I've also been thinking about my Mema a lot lately. We are only a few days away from her being gone an entire year...it doesn't seem possible. I miss them both so much, and I can only take comfort in the fact that Mema is up in Heaven holding my baby girl for me.

This feels so wrong to be writing...

I don't even know how to start this post... I'm at a loss for words, and each blog post I write comes with the pain of my reality, and I don't know how to deal with this reality. Saturday morning, at about 1 or 2 in the morning, we were awoken by my parents coming into our house. My mom said she had to tell me something, and from just looking at her face, I knew. My grandmother, Mema, had passed away. My sweet Mema...the one person who would call every single birthday and sing to us, the person who used to sing "You Are My Sunshine" to me, and take nature walks with us kids collecting little rocks, and nuts, and flowers, and could always find a four-leaf clover every time she looked at the ground.